Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
