Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
