need another drink. this is the easiest way
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
