hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
