if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
