"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
