When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
