Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
