But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
