I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
