problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
