DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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