i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
