If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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