he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
