i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
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