Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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