hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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