Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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