Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
