whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
