i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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