A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
