I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
