it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
