She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
