New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
