You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
