Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
