I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
