im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
