Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
