ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
