Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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