weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
