Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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