"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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