every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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