My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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