She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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