3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
