so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
