The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
