She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish you could order shots online.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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