So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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