omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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