Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
