i need an iv and a liver transplant
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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