where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
