i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
