Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
