trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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