Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
