Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
