Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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