I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
