What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
