I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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