I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
