I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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