And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
